Saturday, September 27, 2014

Ballads of beauty. 12. "Learn to forget".

Learn to forget, when you’re tired, and lonely, and thrown
Learn to forget, when in darkness you’re numb and alone
It is not a mistake to love
As the pain is digging a cove
In the very flesh of your heart
And you feel it is torn apart
By the shards of deception, as cold as it ever can get
You are blessed, if you’re able to move on and truly forget

Learn to be strong, when nobody is lending you strength
Learn to be strong, when the demons are pacing at length
On the alleyways of your life
Only you can win in this strife
Every sunrise’s at first just a beam
Every glory’s at first just a dream
The battle no matter how hard, the wounds no matter how deep
The beloved may go, but your love is something you keep.


© 2010. Anastasia Duchevski

Friday, September 26, 2014

Ballads of beauty. 11. "Beautiful outer world".

I knew you're the one before you came into my life
Didn’t need to feel you, to probe you, to recognize you
I knew it was you who’d take me into the outer world
Take me there, take me to the stars
Release the trapped genie from behind invisible bars

I may rarely speak of love
As the word is just not enough
To tell you how much you mean
To my eyes that have surely seen
Blood, fire, lust
Death, ashes, dust,
Horizons, fakes, empty intentions, true lies
But there is nothing like the light coming from your eyes
Pure as the fire that forges the swords
Strong as the feeling behind the words

As long as your light shines in the outer world
I will find my way to you
I will always find the way to you
In the wide, beautiful outer world
In the strange, beautiful outer world.


© 2010. Anastasia Duchevski

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Ballads of beauty. 10. "Listening to Paramore".

Not Afraid Anymore

You are the bomb, so blow
You are the jaw, so gnaw
I’m not afraid anymore
I’m swaggering on and on
Listening to Paramore
My denim is new
My money is few
My age – an illusion
My mind – a solution

Forging the key to your heart
Would take a master of mind
I’m not afraid anymore
If you’re wizard, I’m spell
If you’re ocean, I’m shore
My faces are cute
My senses acute
My love and my lust
All based on trust.


© 2010. Anastasia Duchevski

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Constantinopolis and a Little Bit of Love...

Spring 2009

The best and most memorable events in my life have a weird habit – they tend to happen by chance. By pure chance, I once had a free weekend; it was a totally random decision to spend it at my parents’, the only place where I watch television, and of course no one could foresee that I would watch news and see a report about Princess Elena, a cruise ship that takes idle vacationers from Giurgiulesti, a brand-new international sea port, to Istanbul and back. And these random causes resulted in a rather concrete effect. I felt a strong desire to see Istanbul – the first of the places I’ve never been to. So, I talked my friend into this adventure, bought the tickets, and on one fine noon we were already boarding the Princess that was standing in its slightly battered splendor at the berth – the only one berth for now – in the newborn port. Thus, I have both confirmed my reputation of a woman of action and had a vacation to remember.

There was one more reason that made me pick up the phone, dial a number and order tickets to a two-bed cabin on deck B. After reading a fair bit of romance novels, I learned that when someone hurts your heart, you have to leave the place where all the drama actually happened. And trust me and my expertise – if you have blond hair, a fair complexion, and a voluptuous figure, you should go due East. Our blonde sisters were highly appreciated there as early as in those ancient times when the Paleologos were ruling Constantinople, and the savage Seljuk Turks were keeping their harems in tents in the Anatolia prairies. The harems have long ceased to exist, the plural marriages were banned in the 1930’s (although I don’t think the hot Turkish guys were very happy about this idea of Ataturk – after all, it’s hard to debate the fact that polygamy has a certain fun about it). Today Turkey is more European than Europe itself, but the fame of the red-haired Russian slave turned sultan wife Haseki Hürrem, i.e. Roxelana, is alive and well. It is odd that such an ambiguous historic figure is so much loved by the Istanbul people – there is the Haseki district, the Haseki street, and her burial vault stands proudly near the mausoleum of her hubby, Suleiman I the Magnificent. It’s just weird that such a patriarchal people treat with so much respect the feminine essence embodied in one woman. Our guide Ibragim mentioned Roxelana about fifty times in the very least. Well, she was beautiful, so… I can’t say the same about myself, but the Turks probably had a different opinion. In two and a half days there was so much balm poured on my wounds that I could have opened a balm shop. We women don’t need notches on the bedpost in order to feel good. A look, a compliment, a click of the tongue, a gaping mouth is sufficient for us. But this is my usual rhetoric blooming on guilt, fat like black earth. And this is not supposed to be a story about me; it is a story about the beautiful city of Istanbul.

As for the heart, if not broken, then pretty much chipped, the Turks have a notion, publicized to the max – “kismet”, which means destiny, fate. If I were purely Russian, not the half-breed that I am, I would probably drain a shot of vodka, say “It’s not meant to be”, and stay home. But I don’t really like vodka, and I do believe in the almighty Fate, but not blindly. I’m an adept of the theory of forging your own happiness, but… there are times when the fire in the forge dies out, the hammer becomes too heavy to lift, and it’s too hard to blow the bellows… And still, despite all the difficulties, despite the pain, despite the cynicism that gets stronger and denser with the years, like cognac in an oak barrel, I waited in a small line to the Wish Column in Hagia Sophia (or the Sweating Column – it regularly gets covered in water drops of unknown origin), and completed the wish-making ritual in strict compliance with the rules. Our guide Ibragim told us how to do it. “Put your thumb in the hole, and turn your palm to 360 degrees. At that, don’t move your legs and torso, or else the wish won’t come true”. An amazing naïveté for a guide, but it had just added color to this rather surrealistic scene.

It is quite easy to turn your palm when keeping your thumb in the hole in the column. If you get the chance to go to Istanbul, visit Hagia Sophia and try. After all, there was a time when this temple-slash-mosque-slash-museum hosted real miracles. I’m not going to retell the travel guide here, let me just say this: Hagia Sophia is a great man-made miracle per se. When you get inside, you feel like a small insignificant little bug, literally nil, in front of the power of the Time and of the human genius. Of course, some day this majestic building will turn into dust, too, but it will take a long, long time. And now… imagine a Christian temple with a round dome (duly surrounded by minarets – Mohammed Fatih’s horse hoofed the marble floor in the greatest sanctuary of Constantine’s city for good reason, a big and Muslim reason). The temple rises to the height of a fifteen-story building, and somewhere in the middle it is surrounded by a mezzanine where tourists and ghosts mingle at leisure. And there are no words to describe the icons made in golden and colored mosaic. I stood in front of an icon depicting Christ for about half an hour, forgetting about the group, the guide, the crowds around, forgetting about my own self… I had the feeling that He posed for the artist Himself. Let the genetic engineers and hot news lovers say whatever they want, about Jesus being a typical Semite, dark-haired, with a thick nose and a bushy beard. For me personally He will always look like the man on the Hagia Sophia icon – fair, handsome, sad, with the kindness and the wisdom of the entire Universe in His eyes.

After making a mental sacrifice to the Wish Column, I walked round the mezzanine, following the jean-clad back of our guide, thinking already about Confucius and his warning: “Beware of the wishes, they sometimes come true”. And I was thinking: do I really need the wished one? Actually, I’m ready to take a risk, provided that the column fulfills its part of the deal. After all, disappointment in men is a kind of sport, too, a blood sport when you come to think of it. In fact, the ancient Greeks already knew that the goddess of love was a real bitch, and her sidekick with bow and arrow wasn’t a better person. And what is more, now they use the new technologies in their doings. Really, the polygamy had a grain of common sense in it. The Prophet Mohammed himself had several wives, although back then the Shari’ah didn’t exist even as a project yet. I saw the relics of this very Prophet in the relic museum at the Topkapı Sultan Palace. He was probably turning in his shrine at the sight of Northern girls, bare-shouldered because of the heat. And the Turkish women wearing black scarves, dark pants and long-sleeved blouses were probably jealous of us wearing tank tops and mini skirts. In fact, there are very few women on the streets in Istanbul, except for the tourists. They are probably at home, in the women’s wing, putting pearl necklaces around their necks, painting their nails red, taking care of children and ordering the maids around, as it becomes a normal Turkish wife. And this probably makes the great reformer Mustafa Kemal Ataturk twist in his grave for his turn.

The heat and the sun, the colors and the noise of Istanbul streets seemed to be a different world after the solemn silence of Hagia Sophia, a silence heavy with the burden of centuries – those enormous spaces and stone walls were absorbing even the usual tourist buzzing, although they were maybe silent, subdued by the grandeur of the temple. Those who say that Istanbul is a city of contrasts are wrong. All the things there are in perfect harmony. If you walk on a cobblestone street, you will see high buildings dominating the narrow walk, battered shops and signboards, and feel the smell of dust, spices and cats. If you walk into a mosque, you will hear the muezzin, punctual like a cuckoo in a grandfather clock, you will see colored tiles, soft carpets and will feel a strong smell of socks. If you pass by a square, you will see clean pavement, an obscure obelisk, pigeons, tourists, stands where you can buy fried corn or bagels, and thousands of flowers. The flowers of Istanbul deserve do be described in a separate essay, but to give them justice a thick volume would be the ticket. I never knew there were tulips of such colors and petals of such forms. And the wild, almost acid violet of the pansies couldn’t have been reproduced by the most skillful Photoshop handlers in their sweetest dreams. Moreover, the flowers are not planted at random along the streets. No, the sequence of colors, the forms of flowerbeds and the sorts of flowers are marked by such perfect harmony, such incredible and fine sense of taste, aesthetics, and botany to give the feeling of indescribable happiness similar to that generated by endorphins. And if you get to think about it, this happiness is caused by realizing that when the nature and the man are working together, the result of their work is something so entrancing and perfect that the writer is at loss what to write and the artist is at loss how to paint… And the main thing is that neither the nature nor the man, working separately, would have come to create something on a par.

I, the clumsiest photographer ever, have never regretted so much about not having a camera at hand, even the poorest one, even the cell phone that was getting bored alone in my cabin. Then I would be able to show pictures, say “cool flowers”, and get it over with, without sweating in the search of metaphors and comparisons. Actually, pictures of Istanbul parks can be found on the Internet, and they are probably made by much better photographers than me, a Quasimodo of photography, and my – ha ha – priceless prose is a much scarcer commodity, which is actually no reason to be happy about. Well, guys, what else can I say – the flowers in Istanbul are mega. Even the rainbow in the sky would be so jealous that it would twist into a spiral at the sight of them. And all this beauty is confined by the flowerbeds along the streets, but we have also seen parks where this splendor is arranged with a truly Oriental magnificence. First, there are literally millions of flowers; second, they are complete with trees in pink bloom, sycamores and cypresses, fountains and wooden benches where mommies, bundled up to their noses, rest with their babies in trolleys. This is some sort of meditation, I thought. You contemplate, and your head is totally empty of thoughts. Color – that’s all there is.

In the Ahmedie Mosque, or the Blue Mosque, as the tourists dubbed it, I didn’t pay much attention to our guide Ibragim’s story, as a) I was mingling in the tourists crowd, trying to escape the smell of socks, and b) it seemed much more interesting to me to look at the tiles close up, to catch fragments of talks in languages known and half-known to me, and to make eyes at a group of cute Italian guys. The only thing I remembered about the mosque is that it had six minarets, whereas the regular number was four or less, that a tile was sold at the Sotheby’s for about 30 thousand dollars, and the mosque boasted a huge number of tiles, and that it was dubbed Blue because the tiles were blue. Of course, it’s beautiful, it’s spacious, but a bit boring – carpets, tiles, and Arabic writing on the walls, and nothing else. Or maybe I wasn’t so much into it because Islam is not my religion, and even though I know some facts about it, and even tried to read the Koran, my heart wasn’t in awe. Making my way with difficulty among groups of variegated tourists, rocking the bag with my sandals (they make people take off their shoes at the entrance, y’all), I was just feeling happy. Feeling happy because I just had my pedicure done and my feet were a decent sight, because the Italian guys were making eyes back at me, because the day was warm and lovely, and because I had a great chance to practice my audial skills in Spanish, in addition to other ten-odd languages that I recognized. If my nose didn’t suffer so much because of the international summit of sock smells, I’m sure my pleasure would be greater. Except for that, I was enjoying it immensely. Blue is my favorite color, and because of the white-and-blue tiles the very air seemed blue. Blue light, blue dream, and God showing His face to humans not from austere icons but in minuscule particles dancing in a ray of light that also has blue hues in it.

After that, we were left to our own devices, and the bazaar was revealed to us. The very Oriental bazaar, for the description of which, as Soloviov said, “one would need two or even three big books”. As for me, description is a trifle, but for the coverage of all of its goods one would need two or three big moneybags. And the pleasure was both visual and tactile. The smooth silk, the soft rugged velvet, the buttery softness of cashmere, the weight of golden bracelets on the wrist, the feet indulging in the warm depths of pointed slippers, teasing spiky sequins on handmade lace scarves… And you can take home all of these for a moderate price, and, after the trip, at home, at some boring party, you can close you eyes, wrap the silk scarf around your shoulders, feel the embroidered flowers under your fingers, and wallow in memories about the city… it was not a city of angels… it was an ancient city, ancient but so young, a hot city smelling of cardamom coffee, a dreamy city falling asleep to the sounds of Bosporus waves, a rich and welcoming city, a city so beautiful that it makes you cry, a city of steep hills curving like the hip of a young odalisque, hills that are very difficult to climb, but when you make it to the top, even if your tongue is lolling out, you steady your breath, you take in the lovely view, drink strong sweet tea sitting near a fountain on an ornate rug, and the foreign words are like sounds of music to you… The old watch tower, the Galata Tower, is rising to the skies behind your back; beside you, on a bench, an antique grandpa with a beard to make the Prophet jealous, smokes a non-filter cigarette and his brown eye mischievously darts into the tourist girls’ cleavages. You can learn new Turkish words from the telephone cards seller as he doesn’t speak English, right next to the telecom shop a brawny guy, burly in an agricultural sort of way, sells cucumbers, oranges, and pineapples, peeled and literally put into your mouth for extra payment. People are just walking, not running, even though they obviously got stuff to do, and there is no wild convulsive rush that is so typical of megalopolises. The sea air is clean and fresh, and even in the port where fishermen sell their catch, there is no usual fish stink; actually, it is there but it doesn’t make you want to go somewhere a couple thousand miles away from the sea and never come back. And you lounge in the sun like a cat full of cream, and order more tea, and engage in lazy conversations, if you have someone to talk to, but in fact you mostly sit in silence, watching the city from the top of the hill, and you feel that it was and will always be like this – beauty and serenity.

There certainly are angels, too. But it’s hard to hear the rustle of their wings when on the Spice Street a bagel seller yells right into your ear: “Hot bagels, just one lira!”, he’s awfully loud, but not loud enough to block the Sufi music from the national musical instruments shop next door, and other marketing yells like: “Yesse, please, applye tee, vyery goode!”. You can only hope that your personal angel won’t let you get run over by a high-tech tram, catch a cold under the swift sea rain, fall from the bridge over the Golden Horn, while you rush for new impressions and pleasures. And then there is the ship again, your cabin that feels like home already, and the usual mess in it, and dreamless sleep in the waiting for tomorrow…

Tomorrow brings the trip to the Sultan Palace, the Topkapı, the relics museum and the Sultans’ treasuries where a bowl full of fist-sized emeralds, amazingly beautiful aigrettes, 80-carat diamonds, and 49-kilograms solid gold candlesticks are most ordinary things. There was another hall where the Sultan rags were displayed. Huge caftans made in red-and-gold brocade looked impressive, especially in contrast with my friend’s grandpa’s words who said when seeing her in a mini skirt: “Why, you couldn’t afford enough fabric for the skirt?” After that, we went to another bazaar, a foods one, where we walked the Spice Street, and saw such spices and such sweets that any sweet-tooth, after seeing and trying those (and you can try everything there), would realize that heaven on earth does exist. I also have to mention the dinner and Oriental show at the Orient House restaurant, with ethnic music and the inevitable belly dancing, quite predictable but still I have to say it was quite captivating. But the number I liked most were the Dervish dances. Two guys in white caftans were simply turning on the spot… on one foot… with eyes closed… for twenty minutes! And the music was matching the dances – real Dervish music. Well, there were many things in the show, as they say, “baloney for tourists”, but the night was wonderful nevertheless. So was the lamb steak.

I could tell as well about our walks in the Karaköy port district, the story of May 1 demonstrations and the congregation of policemen – this year was the first year when the authorities allowed the left-wingers to make a demonstration instead of the usual riots, and we were strongly recommended not to go to the European part of the city but to stay in the port area. So, at 10 AM we were having breakfast in a street café – my friend was having toasts, and I opted for lamb pilaf with veggies and a huge dose of red pepper – and we were watching the TV set above the counter displaying the spirited Istanbul crowd raving in the downtown. Unfortunately, I could not understand what the reporter was talking about, and what the requirements of the protesters were. I know four words in Turkish, and two of them are swear words. Actually, in two days I’ve learned a couple of new ones, like “kız güzel”, which means “beautiful girl”. But I am sure these words were said not to me, but to a Ferrari rushing down the street or a new Sony Ericsson model displayed in a showcase.

Of course, I didn’t relate the events in strict chronological order, but it doesn’t matter. Actually, the thing that matters can be summed up by one phrase. Istanbul is a festive city, it is never humdrum, it is never ordinary, and it is certainly never cold, evil, depressive and aggressive like the northern cities, even when rain pours over it. It is hot not because of the warm climate, but because it has heat in the heart, and is generously sharing the heat with us, random guests, who, as usual, are shown only the best things. If I notice some things of the sort that are not shown to the guests, I will surely tell you about them next time when I go there, because I intend to come back to Istanbul. After all, this is love at first trip, and love, while it’s alive, requires closeness.


Ballads of Beauty. 9. "How did our airplanes fall".

It’s no mean feat
Getting blistered by heat
And cold that conjured the frightening demons of ice
If you call it love, baby, make sure you think twice

It’s no good way
Saying goodbye and stay
You were the dream, the beautiful figment of mind
I was one, too – the blind was loving the blind

How our pretenses have shattered, how did our airplanes fall
How had the glossy paint come off our true intentions
I guess we both had had to remember and mention
The need to keep up the charade or keep nothing at all

Future is lies
The past – consummated desires
Put your cards on the table, feel my scent through the haze
You were too hard to please, I was too hard to amaze

Don’t get me wrong
I have loved you for so long
That inertia crept upon us, and distorted the real
I can’t possibly take it no more, so I’m breaking the deal.


© 2010. Anastasia Duchevski

Monday, September 22, 2014

Ballads of Beauty. 8. "Don't look at the sun, Eagle Eye".

Don’t look at the sun
Eagle eye
Don’t fall for the one
Who can lie

The sun is too bright
They are, too
You might lose your sight
That won’t do

Got used to the lies
The "love you’s"
Your own paradise
Is what you choose

You’re happy with your
Faith in fake
What you hate, you ignore
Big mistake

You believed he’s the one
In your mind
So you’ll look at your sun
Till you’re blind

But then you come back home, and start a fire
And all you think about is his face
His way to speak, his way to walk in grace

And you forget that he is just a liar.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Ballads of beauty. 13. "If only I would know".

If Only (I Would Know)

What could I write that you would sing about
What could I say to make it to your world
All tenderness untold
To have and to behold
I will increase tenfold
All of my love for you
You know my words are true
If only I would know what you would sing about

The words escape to freedom from my being
The only way I have to reach to you
They are so weak and few
Oh, if I only knew
Before my yearning grew
Just who you really are
A demon or a star
Before the words escaped to freedom from my being

I will accept all pains and all deceptions
For just a feeble chance to make you mine
My love can’t help but shine
Exquisite and divine
So easy to define
Who are you? I don’t care
As long as love is there
Protecting both of us from pains and from deceptions.


© 2010. Anastasia Duchevski

Ballads of Beauty. 7. "We are still at war".

It’s been days, months, years, and we’re still at war
A dagger would be less blood than your sweetest words
A murder would be more mercy than your tenderness
A lie would be more like truth than your true intents

I keep telling myself: I didn’t deserve all this
The goodbyes that hurt the most are in fact the bliss
As they’re followed by new hellos and feelings anew
What foolish a role for me, and what fun for you

I’m a loser, baby
This is your victory
I’ll surrender, maybe,
If you promise to set me free
I am tired of fighting back
I am tired of my winning stance
Let the whitest of lies go black
Let the killing move be a dance

‘T was the darkest desire and the purest of sacrifice
‘T was the white of the virtue, the red of the vilest vice
Bleak oblivion for you, perennial memory for me
Plenty of light, but no intention to see

Now the taste of the freedom so bitter on my dry lips
Is that my heart, the thing that so painfully beats?
Dying love takes a lot away when it’s gone
Leaving nothing behind for who might have been the one.

© 2010. Anastasia Duchevski


Thursday, September 18, 2014

Ballads of Beauty. 6. "Rainy Day Reggae"

Tribute to Lou Reed

Rainy Day Reggae

Rain is a bummer, that’s some rain
But every morning’s a sunrise, so take the pain
To get up and smell the coffee, and fry up some bread
Smile! It’s too gorgeous a day to spend it in bed

Put on some denim and fancy shoes
Pick up your funny red Moschino umbrella
Feel it yourself and keep on telling your fellows
It’s time for some reggae; it’s time to give up the blues

(‘Cause)
It’s rainy day reggae
I don’t need the sun to feel good
It’s my rainy day reggae
I go reggae-ing all over the neighborhood

Go walking cool with spring in step
Have a kebab and Coke on a busy street corner
To the horns of the cars sing a la Tina Turner
So what if you tap on the street? Go on baby, tap!

Then, movie and dinner, cab and home
Kiss at the door under the clouded raining dome
Classic a-date with someone you’d love to be with
Who’d turn all your pains in a barely remembered myth.


© 2010. Anastasia Duchevski

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Janet Reid, Literary Agent: Query Question: setting

Janet Reid, Literary Agent: Query Question: setting



It is not about Canada. It's about structural linguistics, semiotics... and dreams.



Yes, everybody is crying out loud, demanding a Query Shark book, correct? Like the Query Shark's charitable work with her chum bucket and Jet Reid blogs is not enough for us - philistines and rookies...



Several weeks ago, I came across a Tweet: "I read my books to my cat... because he does not criticize. Purr-fect!"



This verbal excrement, excuse me, was Retweeted to 60.5 thousand people. So, there is a market for feline bad prose, after all... If her cat is gray, she is in the magic kingdom all right.



Sic transit gloria mundi...



Yet I just laugh and reread a couple of favorite articles on constitutional idiots. I both have and represent target audiences who do not rely on feline abilities to do literary critique for a living.



Revenons à nos moutons. How about a Janet Reid biography? A Janet Reid Wikipedia page?



Our beloved sharkoguru is shamelessly underrepresented in the wider world. Recently, I have met three or four people who asked: "Who is Janet Reid?"



Well, normally, those are people who have no idea what "Who is John Galt?" means.



May The Force give us long years and have us prosper, Ms. Reid. With your permission, I will be your biographer in several decades. Your servant, ma'am.



P.S. It makes me wonder... why is no one mentioning Russian bears in these blog post comments? :)



Sincerely,

A.

Ballads of Beauty. 5. "Somebody as mad as me".

What would you do with somebody as mad as me?
You swept me away with a glance and devilish glee

You’re teasing me
You’re pleasing me
You are the best player
I’m even better at play
You are a heart-slayer
I’ve got nothing left to slay

A natural winner, I’m taking you over, so what?
In this battle we’ll both lose more than just blood

You’re taunting me
You’re haunting me
Smart and relentless
Sharp like a poisoned lance
Pleasure is endless
A carnal and deathly dance

I’d like to break free, but freedom is loveless and void
And you’re not someone whose desire I’d want to avoid

You’re tearing me
You’re wearing me
Bold and destructive
Dark blessing bestowed upon me
And I am your captive
You love me. Where else could I be?


© 2009. Anastasia Duchevski

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Ballads of Beauty. 4. "Tenderness is a word seldom said."

Tenderness is a word seldom said
Love is a stand in the vanity fair
No one stops by as it’s thought to be dead
There is nothing to give, there is nothing to share

But I will tell you I love you
Without hoping to hear the same
I’ll keep telling you that I love you
Without you even knowing my name

I am just a face in the crowd
Nothing more than a shade on you portrait
I can shout of my love out loud
I can keep it inside and be tortured

By the distance that keeps me away
By the silence that’s like execution
If you come, I will ask you to stay
If we part, I will find a solution

To be found in an ocean of pain
To be saved and to act as a saver
To protect from despair and disdain
Just live on… I will live in your favor.


© 2009. Anastasia Duchevski

Ballads of Beauty. 3. "Did you say it was something true?"

Did you say it was something true?
Did you say the truth when you said it?
You want more than I’ll ever do
And I’d pay a lot just to edit

All your lies from the story of us
All your falsehood and empty pretensions
‘Cause your name’s “violation of trust”
And I’m not going to sell you redemption

But then you come by
Light up my fire
Warm up my bed
And I’m over and dead

You can’t tell a diamond from gravel
But you want me; should I be pleased?
You are quicksand on roads I travel
‘Tis hard to fight you; you’re like a disease

You are lethal, but I’m a survivor
You are pain, but I killed all my nerves
Love is rearing her head of a viper
It’s not mine anymore, it’s all yours.


© 2009. Anastasia Duchevski

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Ballads of Beauty.1. "I only have words and strings".

I only have words and strings
To vent out my fury and pain
To box black shadows on rings
Where sinew and muscle are in vain

I’m a fighter for a lost cause
I’m a wise man of waning mind
I am stuck in your sliding doors
You can’t see I love you? You’re blind

You call me a liar
You call me a sham
But I’ll be damned
If I lose you
My lifeblood, my all
Do not let me fall

I only have urge and lust
To prove you I’m actually yours
‘Cause you say words are nothing but dust
And the music’s just making it worse

So take body as body of evidence
If my soul is too small of a gift
Where the image of you’s taking residence
Where the dreams of togetherness drift

You call me a dreamer
You call me a fool
You’re so damn cool
And I’ll lose you
My lifeblood, my all
You did let me fall.


© 2009. Anastasia Duchevski

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Ballads of beauty. 2. "Your sun is rising over my dark worlds".

Your sun is rising over my dark worlds
Your wind has blown away my sands of past
I had no future in my cups, and coins, and swords
But then you came along, you came at last

You are my present
My eternal present
Just stay with me
Wherever I’ll be
On road or in fight
Be my guiding light

Your rain put out the fire in my woods
Your land became sweet home for nomad heart
I need your smile to chase away my woes
I need your love, or else I’ll fall apart

Unfading beauty in your eyes I see
Immortal soul that vowed to be all mine
Your rising sun will make my shadows flee
Your gentle rain will bring me peace of mind.


© 2009. Anastasia Duchevski

Sunday, September 7, 2014

HarryPotter and the Human Genome - A Critique of Fantasy in General and of House Targaryen in Particular, or How I Learned to Love Fire and Blood

It all started in the middle of an innocent dialogue with James Andrew Gravil:

James: This fantastic idea of people who are half-human, half-dragon (that's how I understand it so far) reminds me of the #Targaryens in George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire (the TV series Game of Thrones.) They too are a royal family, ethereally beautiful, with mystical powers, albeit possessed of a mistaken belief in their ability to shapeshift into dragons. You weren't inspired by Martin's series, by any chance? The name of their homeland, Valyria, is even similar to your Valaya.

Me:
I wouldn’t say Viserys, Dany’s brother, was ethereally beautiful: in my opinion, his #literary and film impersonations both matched Ser Jorah’s “less than shadow of a snake” allegory. Looks included.

Warning: long text ahead! But who said we can't tolerate big texts - hem-hem-manuscript-of-Winds-of-Winter-hem-hem?

Dany’s description reads quite lovely, but in reality it’s actually weird… I saw a fantasy drawing once where Dany had really silver hair, silver eyebrows and eyelashes, and really purple eyes. I can’t say it’s ugly, but it’s kinda#alien-looking, although her features were finely chiseled. I just felt the urge to say: “hey Stormborn, you need some color; here, take my make-up kit”.

Have you noticed Emilia Clarke’s eyes had been jade-green for the first three seasons? In Season 4, they added bluish-violet contact lenses that didn’t cover the middle circle of the iris and it was still green, and the effect was just stunning. I used to wear colored contacts all the time before I had my LASIK, so I notice those things. I just hope the fandom is not developing crazy theories, like, how Daenerys’s eye color changed because she wasn’t getting laid after she helped Khal Drogo convert to Islam. Here, “to convert to Islam” is a subcultural Russian euphemism for death – rather racist, to be sure.

Re: euphemisms for death. My favorites are:

- “to be sawed out of existence” – only I changed it for “to be #hacked” in English, and it normally refers to violent death;
- “to join your legs” according to the joke about a prostitute’s tombstone inscribed with “Finally, they have joined each other. Her #legs, that is.”
- “to glue your sneakers together” – same logic.
- “to move your horses” – this hints at the fact that at #grand last-ever shindigs like State funerals, horses pull the catafalque.
- “to select your oak” – an allusion of wood for coffins… Sorry, this is getting morbid. The last one is:
“to pass beyond the Rim”, which is a tribute to #Babylon5.

Now I have to pace myself as I’m so into B-5, I’m almost Green sector resident – hey, I speak languages, so #AmbassadorDelenn and I would definitely be able to share some ailecococ over dinner (ailecococ in Minbari means both a small fish and the pleasure of meeting someone for the first time). Not to mention the possibility to use swear words when talking in Commander Ivanova’s native language – few on the station would understand anyway…

Back to House Targaryen exterior appearances. Emilia’s Daenerys is a platinum blonde, not truly silver-gold-haired. The only jarring note in her looks are those black eyebrows – it’s genetically impossible for such fair-haired persons to have such dark facial hair. If they trimmed them and made them a couple of shades lighter (not 50!!!!!!), she’d be an ideal #Daenerys.

Daenerys holding the black egg was on a Season 1 poster hanging on my wall over my desk for two years, and I am a genetics aficionada (AND a woman, and dissecting other women’s looks is in our genes), so I can talk )) You don't have to read my talk unless it's Caelin edits, of course, but I just love talking to you in letters... ever since we discovered, among many other common grounds, our mutual penchant for badmouthing poorly written but very popular literature like #Twilight or – excuse me, I have to stop and vomit here – 50 Shades.

So, I guess, “ethereal beauty” works in Daenerys’s case. So does “smart” – she didn’t waste time trying futilely to transform into a dragon. She hatched THREE. My kinda girl. You’ll see, she’ll handle brilliantly all the trouble her gentle heart got her into. Just give her time. And let us all hope #GRRM will not hurl her beyond the Rim prematurely, in his usual manner that has already earned martyrdom for the Starks and made #TheNorthRemembers grow into a freaking political party.

As for mystical powers, only Dany seems to possess them – she’d appreciate the blistering lava wine my own King Vlad aka King Bloodlust enjoys so much. Neither Rhaegar nor Aerys MK (Mad King, not #MichaelKors, y'all) had manifested any ESPN stuff that could have changed their fate.

Or maybe GRRM wanted them weak enough to have them glue their boots together with ease, just as becomes a House with centuries of inbreeding in their wake. In real life, where the #HumanGenome is serious business, the Targaryens would have been hunchbacks with rickets, flatulence, and six toes on the third foot. Tyrion would be an Edwardella compared to them. Hell, Daenerys would probably have three breasts – and the fans of #TotalRecall would die happy men.

I even made up a distich on Twitter to that point:

In real life, Daenerys would be 3-breasted and small like a #gnome
You don’t mess with inbreeding and the human genome

By the way, I’m @FantasyVortex. Czech me out (a little linguistic joke inscribed on a T-shirt I bought in Prague) I have a principle: a Tweet must be a joke, a pun or a crack-up to every possible extent. Unless it's death or need to be politically C. And as you already know my type of sense of humour, you can imagine what Bacchanalia of ye-ha-ha! is going on in my Tweets feed.

OK. Back to Fire and Blood. So, to sum up, Viserys glued his boots together because he had a thing for bling (and good riddance); Dany rules; Rhaegar Targaryen was hacked out by Baratheon too soon to talk about him, although I would; the #MK(TM) was a genetics textbook case; Young Griff aka alleged Prince Aegon is a dark horse, and methinks we’re dealing with Dragons here. Who else?

Ah. Poor darling Maester Aemon – I, a most ardent House Targaryen bannerwoman, love him best despite relating to Daenerys. He could have used a little abracadabra-esque power, too, I guess. Although he’d probably be too old for spitting fire – and you can’t stop an army of wildlings by spewing soot and ashes on them. Not to mention the Others who’d just think Maester Aemon is dropping dandruff off the Wall.

By the way, did you know #JKRowling made up Avada Kedavra based on abracadabra, which is believed to be an ancient Zoroastrian spell that reached our days? Anyway, in the ASOIAF canon, not a single Targaryen has supernatural powers, except Dany et Aegon the Conqueror avec sisters who could fly on dragonback. But I think this last skill was more like superb animal training and lots of nerve rather than magic.

Also, when Viserys threatened Dany with waking the dragon, I think he meant he’d become seriously pissed off and turn into a royal asshole… or he would have meant it if he were smarter. But then, if he had been smarter, he wouldn’t have been Viserys, ergo, Khal Drogo wouldn’t have hacked him out of existence with a jaunty crown of molten gold. Honestly, to see a man killed by his exaggerated flair for #fashion! Disgraceful.

Oh gosh, this is an effing novel. My only excuse is that, while making yet another joke, I decided I’d make a blog entry out of this rant.


To be continued...

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Influencer Marketing 101: Trending within Your Influencer Network

Dear reader,

In today's installment, the Metatag Hag and I will be sharing a little insight on the right way to use hashtags and trends in order to attract more influencers to your net... I mean, network.

Metatag Hag: Just like in biology, our own nets are populated by spiders and flies. If you have juicy flies for sale, the web community will only be happy to hear all about them. You need to develop a little agility in surfing the #juicy #fly #trend wave.

Insight 1. Use hashtags in standalone trends but not in dialogue

When you are talking to an influencer - any kind of influencer, which means everybody - keep the text clean of hashtags unless a particular trend is the subject of your discussion. If he/she is a popular person, you are using their popularity as it is, whether voluntarily or not. Everyone who reads their feed will stumble across your name, so keep in mind everything the Hag and I had told you about presentation, and do not overload your personal message with hashtags. You are talking to a person in the first place... not using them to get more outreach for your own cause. This, however, is a matter of taste, so even if you slip a totally justified # into your conversation, no one will blame you, but in my humble opinion, it is not classy.

Insight 2. Use suggestions to add trendiness to your message

If your social media accounts are connected, which is highly recommended, then you will be hashtagging across your platform, which is good. When you share a thought or a bit of news, do this: type a # before any word you want to make a keyword of, then look at the drop-down menu of suggestions and choose the #trend which is most appropriate for your message.

Metatag Hag: Do not forget to check out the trend if you do not know what it's about. For instance, when you come across a trend like, say, #ThrowbackThursday, there is no point to adding it to your Tweet about the new app or gadget you are reviewing. Or to the selfie you've just taken, for that matter. It is a popular trend started by a NYC museum - every Thursday, they would exhibit an oldie-but-goodie, and the nets picked it up. So if you have a meme with something your top influencer did 20 years ago, just share it:




Note: Kelsey Grammer is not my own top influencer, technically - I am just a fan, but then, there is a major possibility that my own target influencers are his fans, too. Or his colleagues. Or friends. Oops, look out, the Hag is preparing to sing, too!

Metatag Hag: *singing* It's a small world, after all...

Insight 3. Research, research, research!

If you are a regular social media dweller, then you are bound to know what's hot and what's not. Still, if you decided you're all grown up now, stop trawling Buzzfeed and Huffington for cats and epic fails concerning bras and tattoos. Start following "grownup" resources like The Guardian, for instance, and look out for trends that have something to do with you or your influencers. If you want to comment on some trend, first do a little research on things that have already been said about or regarding this particular trend.

Normally, you can learn about a trend by clicking the respective hashtag in someone's Tweet or post. Yet if you still cannot figure it out by reading the first couple of messages, just Google it. Chances are, you will not only find a useful trend to join, but will also learn something new. Like, when I found out what 5SosDERPCon was, I a) was convinced again that I was doing the right thing - researching hashtags and recommending my readers to do the same, and b) found another reason to be happy about having reached adulthood.

Insight 4. Use the trends list

It is probably no news to you that it is not only you who is analyzing social media. They do this, too. For instance, Twitter knows who you are and what you like based on what you Tweet, so it is offering you a list of trends to follow and join. Part of them is totally off the mark, but some are very useful to learn new things and to announce your message in a feed read by so many people only because it is hot. And for other reasons - for instance, when I share my business-related ideas, I use the #leadership hashtag a lot, and it normally causes reactions, because it is followed by - yes, you are right - leaders.

Metatag Hag: Yeah. Every morning, when it is not the Queen of Nerds' but my turn to Tweet, I read the list of trends and think about some snark to say about the buzz of the day. After the Pitch Wars bummer, though, my sarcasm-filled comments leave Anastasia's brain only after some censoring. You want to be polite, but you don't have to be sheepish. Too bland = total "blah".

Insight 5. When appropriate, saturate your message with hashtags

Sometimes, messages are so full of words that may be currently trended, it is a shame to miss an opportunity to hashtag the daylights out of it. Here is an example of my own Tweets of this kind:

is the of vital , along lines of , in a affording them . -

a on instead of & editing 5 of .

Every hashtag increases your chances to be noticed by more top influencers.

Insight 6. If you come across a clever quote and want to share it, tie it to the hashtags that might be useful to you

See example of Aristotle quote above.

Metatag Hag: It does not mean the quotes must be necessarily highbrow. You don't have to be a Queen of Nerds to rule. Just quote your favorite TV show, if you like... I don't know, quote True Blood, if you a) are a fan b) design book covers. Just don't do it for the sake of showing your affection for VampireTV. Do it to be noticed by Richelle Mead.

Insight 7. Use random hashtags for wider net-casting

For example, when the Guardians of the Galaxy premiered, I made a joke about organic green body paint becoming popular. I hashtagged the word #organic. And what happens next? in a couple of minutes a bunch of "greenies" were Retweeting it left, right, and center. I got some organic follower growth with that little bit of humor, too.

Insight 8. See what your top influencers are trending

Read your top influencers' feeds and see what words they are hashtagging. Use the same hashtags to get into the same feed. It may seem a trifle, but for third-party influencers, seeing your name on the same page with a top influencer's name is creating an association between the two names, sometimes subconscious.

For instance, once, as I was in my Queen of Nerds form, I Tweeted a joke about Babylon-5. I said it would be nice to return to the Green sector and share some ailecococ with Ambassador Delenn. NB: Delenn is a main character of B-5 and belongs to the fictional Minbari race. And in Minbari, ailecococ means both a small fish and the pleasure of meeting someone for the first time. That joke caused quite a reaction in the #Nerdpride community, I tell you.

It was retweeted directly into the outreach zone of J. Michael Straczynski, who does belong in my own network of top influencers... Should I come to a point when I need to contact him, this joke will serve as a great ice breaker, because ailecococ was mentioned only once in a huge series, is not a buzzword, let alone a hashtagged trend, and creators love connoisseurs who know their work by heart. Which is another bit of advice, by the way. You may believe it redundant, but I think that the "know your influencer" adage bears innumerable repetitions, so here it goes. Know your influencer.

Insight 9. When appropriate, fill up your message with trends

If the message per se is short, and you have a character limit in the particular media you are using, do not hesitate to add a bunch of hashtags and trends to fill it up. For example, I have just Tweeted the manifesto of the philosophic movement, to which I attribute myself:

is , not !

The actual message was the first four words. The rest are trends. Note that they are all, to a greater or lesser degree, related to the message.

Metatag Hag: Meanwhile, I am having fun with the #RuinAMagazine feed, Google stock images, and Paint:





Bottom line: under the right hashtag, do not deny yourself fun. Demonstrating your sense of humor around influencers is rather a good than a bad thing. But if you also have a haggish alter ego with a liking for black humor, be careful with jokes about serious stuff like religion or cancer. Even if you are in fact deriding, say, stupidity but not these topics per se, do not forget that many people like to jump to conclusions.

Insight 10. Be careful with acronyms and abbreviations!

When you are targeting a particular top influencer, make sure not to confuse him with someone else. For instance, the very J. Michael Straczynski is known in the fandom as JMS, but if you try to hashtag this acronym, you will actually land in the feed of #JMS aka Justin Michaels Sports, which is about American football. Not very good company for sci-fi talk, right?

Metatag Hag: For your benefit, and for the sake of experimentation, I just wrote this:

 is  for both  and          

The hashtagging in this message covers many unrelated fields. In an update, I will share news about its impact. For now, it got favorited by an Australian starter-upper. Well, it's 2 AM here in Montreal, which is the cue for Insight 11. Upd: one more golden star from Nutrition Express - who must be following the Omega-3 trend... and followed by two people from my network.

Insight 11. Watch the watch

If you are Tweeting or posting just for fun at 2 AM, that's fine. But when you are active within your social media platform, make sure to share your ideas when your actual and potential influencers are awake and active, too. There is no use or need to post wise words that just came into your head in the dead of the night when all the influencers in your area are asleep. If you have influencers in other corners of the globe... well, kudos for that. Keep Tweeting at any hour. Yet if they are concentrated in a certain area, keep an eye on that time zone's local time. Just make notes and Tweet or post your precious ideas at a more appropriate hour.

Insight 12. Create your own trends

For instance, I created #MakeAnInfluencerSmile. It's when you joke to or about your idols. Sadly, the "about" part is a bit harder because celebrities with joke-worthy lives usually have celebrity psyches, and that's a special field of discussion and study. And Level 2 influencers, the decision-makers, usually have healthy sense of humor but little time to enjoy it. Also, influencer marketing, influencer relations management, and especially influencer psychology are relatively new fields... so this is an example of the fact that not all hashtags become trends. Yet they are also a tool for expressing sentiment, so

Insight 13. Express sentiments with your hashtags

A mere #sarcasmalert or #joke hashtag can cast a totally different light on things you actually mean to say. Sentiment-expressing hashtags are not only the new black in the world of netiquette, but also a way to network. Say, if your potential influencer checks out the #bigbangtheory trend regularly, and you post a Sheldon-worthy joke under it, there is a chance s/he will like it and you will end up following each other, and sharing stuff, and then... who knows? Maybe s/he is the missing handshake between you and the producer to whom you would like to show your script some day.

Insight 14. Avoid the #influencetheinfluencer trend like the plague!

It is merely my advice, of course - if you feel you have something that requires this hashtag, it's a free planet. But I personally dislike this condescending and manipulative phrase. If someone tried to influence me this way, they would get the opposite effect. I would be influenced, but in a negative way... and I'd write them off completely.

Metatag Hag: And I'd dish out some snark about the subj, too.

Insight 15. Ask questions with your hashtags

Many top influencers are also knowledge sharers, and regularly feature on Twitter under the #ask hashtags. For instance, mentors in PitchWars, the initiative I described in previous chapters, answer questions of their mentees and other participants in the #askmentor feed. Literary agents follow the #askagent trend. Just research the #ask trends in your respective industry - and benefit both from precious insight and from the possibility to attract the attention of a potential node in your influencer network.


Insight 16. Beware hashtag fails!

Many of the situations described above can create or become the cause of a fail. In the situation where everyone is an influencer, you cannot count on things blowing over fast... of course, in such situation you can only count on being forgotten rather than considered not smart, but if your influencers are people with good memories, you'll need more reputational damage control than you can imagine... or afford.

Read about high-profile hashtag fails here. You don't want to be featured in this kind of list, do you?

Here's a classic that made the Hag chuckle for an entire minute, which is pretty much a record:


Courtesy of blog.proximate.com

Well, I hope you enjoyed the insight. Next, we will be discussing your homework you have to do to analyze your influencers, some simple ratios you can apply, and the many conclusions you can draw from just a little research.

Thank you!

Sincerely yours,
Anastasia Stratu and Metatag Hag