18.05.2003
The Southern Cross is somewhere beneath my feet,
Somewhere behind my shoulders are Solar flares,
Magnetic storms, and the light of silver rays -
My own guiding lights.
Somewhere in front of me another ghost lingers,
Out there, in my future, I will say goodbye to him again,
I will lose my breath in a furious white-hot cry, and I will
Pray for forgiveness.
And a vers-libre will grow through my pores and my tears,
Like grass, and it will be about forgiveness, for my hands
Have left lots of traces of evil, so that I am now afraid
To hurt the air with my breath.
When will the white darkness find itself another victim?
Oh heavens mine, I have been so many things among the white ones
I am becoming now a mirror-surfaced Venus of Milo
Will you look at me?
***
19.05.2003
When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss is gazing into you.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Everything has happened already; my sixth sense is exhausted
My tears drop poisons, which hurt the tissues of hearts
I have more than one heart, probably this was decreed
By the Lord of our local universes here.
One of them is black, high winds blow there,
There are pains that suddenly curve into upturned eights, then sing victory, then
Melt the baby minute into pastel colors, and disappear
As everything has happened already.
My other heart is whiter than diamond dust,
Whiter than silver, and fairy tales live there,
Their names are not human names; they won't be erased
By time or demons.
A numb pagan, I prayed to rainbows and fires,
Give me a ray of light, give me love, and I will fight till my last drop of blood,
Give me a voice, and I will unveil the secret of salvation
To all, for you are all saved already.
Translated by me.
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